Dear Parents,
The Federal Government has commenced a program called Let’s Stop Bullying. The campaign, with the slogan “Bullying is harder to spot than you think”, has already hit the screens and airwaves.
The ads feature various school aged children who ask the audience “Can you tell which one of us is being bullied? Is it me?”, inside and outside of school settings.
The campaign is designed to remind viewers that bullying can be hard to spot and can look different in every situation. This means we all have a responsibility to stop bullying when it occurs. Additionally, the campaign also aims to build people’s confidence to take action when they are bullied or witness bullying, and to connect people with practical information and support.
Bullying Prevention Begins with Every Family
Bullying is an issue that rightly concerns every parent. When we hear that a child has been bullied, our natural response is often to wonder whether our own child is safe. That is an important question—but it cannot be our only question.
Every parent must also be willing to ask: “Could my child’s words or actions be hurting someone else?”
Bullying is rarely prevented by addressing only those children who are harmed. It requires every family to take a proactive role in teaching children how to treat others, recognise the impact of their behaviour and respond with courage when they witness cruelty or exclusion.
It is easy to believe that bullying is something done by “other people’s children”. Yet children are still learning. They can be influenced by their friends, act impulsively, seek approval from their peers by acting poorly, misuse humour, or fail to understand the effect of their words. A child who is generally kind and well behaved may still make a poor choice that causes significant hurt.
This does not necessarily mean that the child is a “bully”. It does mean, however, that adults must take the behaviour seriously, respond honestly, and guide the child towards accountability, empathy, and change.
More Than a Single Conversation
Talking about bullying should not occur only after an incident. It must be part of the ongoing conversations families have about character, relationships, responsibility and faith.
We must all speak plainly with our children about what bullying can look like. It may include repeated teasing, threats, physical aggression, deliberate exclusion, spreading rumours, humiliating someone publicly or using social media and group chats to cause embarrassment or distress. It can also involve encouraging others to participate, laughing along or remaining silent when someone is being mistreated.
Children need to understand that saying, “I was only joking,” does not remove the impact of hurtful behaviour. Humour that depends upon another person’s embarrassment, fear or exclusion is not harmless.
Parents can help by asking specific questions rather than simply asking, “Are you bullying anyone?” Questions such as these may lead to more meaningful reflection:
- Is anyone regularly left out by your group?
- Do you ever laugh when someone is teased or embarrassed?
- Have you posted, shared or forwarded something that could hurt another person?
- Is there someone you treat differently when your friends are watching?
- Have you used another person’s appearance, ability, family, culture or identity as a joke?
- If I watched the way you treated others today, would I be proud of your choices?
- Is there anything you have said or done that you need to make right?
These conversations should be calm, honest and frequent. Our goal should not be to interrogate children or cause them to become defensive, but rather help them develop the self-awareness and moral courage needed to recognise when their behaviour—or the behaviour of their friends—is wrong.
A Biblical Responsibility
For Christian families, the call to prevent bullying is deeply connected to our faith. Every person is created in the image of God and therefore possesses inherent dignity and worth. When we demean, exclude or humiliate another person, we fail to recognise the value God has placed upon them.
Jesus taught us: “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). This is more than an encouragement to be polite. It calls us to actively consider how our words, decisions and behaviour affect others.
Scripture also reminds us that our words carry great power. Ephesians 4:29 instructs us not to allow harmful talk to come from our mouths, but to speak in ways that build others up according to their needs. James likewise warns that the same tongue should not be used both to praise God and to speak harmfully about people made in His likeness.
Christian character is not demonstrated merely by avoiding obvious wrongdoing. It is revealed through compassion, humility, integrity, service and courage. Micah 6:8 calls us to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God. These qualities should shape how our children behave in classrooms, playgrounds, sporting teams, friendship groups and online spaces.
Children must learn that following Christ sometimes requires them to stand apart from the crowd. It takes courage to refuse to laugh at a cruel joke, to challenge a friend who is being unkind, to include someone who has been rejected or to report behaviour that is causing harm. Silence can allow bullying to continue; Christian service calls us to notice, care and act.
Responding When Our Child Has Caused Harm
Discovering that our child may have hurt someone can be confronting. A parent’s instinct may be to defend, minimise, or explain the behaviour. We may focus on what another child did first, insist that it was a misunderstanding or argue that the behaviour was out of character. Context is important, and every child deserves to be heard, however, explanation must not become an excuse.
A loving parental response holds together both grace and accountability. We can reassure our children that they are loved while also making it clear that harmful behaviour must change. Children need to learn to acknowledge what they have done, understand its impact, accept appropriate consequences and take genuine steps to repair the relationship where possible.
An apology should be more than a reluctant “sorry”. Genuine restoration involves naming the behaviour, recognising the hurt caused and demonstrating change over time. Forgiveness and grace do not remove responsibility; they make growth, reconciliation, and a new beginning possible.
Working in Partnership
Schools and families must work together to create environments in which every child feels safe, known, and valued. This requires parents to report genuine concerns, provide relevant information and allow concerns to be investigated fairly. It also requires a willingness to hear difficult information if our own child’s behaviour is questioned.
No school can promise that a child will never make an unkind choice. Schools can only establish clear expectations, supervise students carefully, investigate reported concerns and apply appropriate support and consequences. Lasting change, however, are only possible when the messages children hear at school are reinforced consistently at home.
We must also model what we expect. Children notice how adults speak about other families, teachers, colleagues and members of the community. If they hear contempt, ridicule, gossip or hostility from us, they may learn that demeaning others is acceptable when we feel justified. Our example will often teach more powerfully than our instructions.
A Shared Commitment
Bullying prevention is not solely the responsibility of families whose children have been harmed, nor is it a task that can be left entirely to schools. It belongs to all of us.
Every parent should regularly speak with their child about kindness, inclusion, courage and accountability. Every parent should be prepared to ask difficult questions. Every parent should make it clear that popularity, frustration, retaliation and humour never justify cruelty.
Most importantly, we must teach our children that the way they treat others is an expression of who they are becoming and of the faith they profess.
Our prayer should not only be, “Lord, protect my child from harm”, but also “Lord, shape my child into someone who brings safety, encouragement and hope to others.”
When families and schools embrace this responsibility together, we do more than respond to bullying. We form young people who recognise the God-given worth of every person, use their words to build others up and possess the courage to choose what is right—even when no adult is watching.
May we all work together for God’s children.
Brian Grimes
Principal/CEO