“Our youth now love luxury, they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders, and they love to chatter instead of exercise. Children are now tyrants not servants of their household. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”
– Socrates (400 BC)
Concerns over the youth of “today” are as old as civilisation. However, each generation faces different versions of the same challenges. This article will address some of the challenges, temptations and worldly philosophies that endanger our young men. Along the way we will discuss truths that have broader applications to other age groups and both genders.
Ultimately, the answer to all questions for all peoples in all ages is the same – Christ! However, the apostles did sometimes address different demographics separately (1 Tim 5:1, 1 John 2:14). I also freely admit that in many ways some of our young men are doing better than previous generations, especially regarding drugs and alcohol. Also, while some are struggling with friendships and loneliness there are many who are thriving, especially those who are well connected to a church family.
In our modern world there has been much discussion about the meaning of gender, leading to much confusion and angst. Some want to reject labels and others have called out “toxic masculinity”. In part I wonder if this is a reaction against a narrow and ill-defined model of maleness. If we can provide a powerful, attractive, broad and Godly definition that cannot be condemned then we will provide a beacon of hope in a dark world. To do this we must address some confusion between traditional and biblical values which is in urgent need of addressing. The Bible and especially Christ set a strong contrast with the values of the surrounding cultures. Take for example Deuteronomy 17:16-20:
The king, moreover, must not acquire great numbers of horses for himself or make the people return to Egypt to get more of them, for the Lord has told you, “You are not to go back that way again.” He must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray. He must not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold. When he takes the throne of his kingdom, he is to write for himself on a scroll a copy of this law, taken from that of the Levitical priests. It is to be with him, and he is to read it all the days of his life so that he may learn to revere the Lord his God and follow carefully all the words of this law and these decrees and not consider himself better than his fellow Israelites and turn from the law to the right or to the left. Then he and his descendants will reign a long time over his kingdom in Israel.
In the ancient world none of the actions forbidden to Israel’s kings would be at all shocking, in fact they would be expected. Today many influencers seeking to advise our young men have a similar worldly vision of what success looks like – money, women, fast cars, power and dominance. How shocking to see that as far back as Moses’s Day God has been warning against this way of thinking. And as far back as Solomon, men, even men of God, have ignored this advice and have shipwrecked their faith.
In the ancient world, kings valued horses as symbols of power and status, yet God commanded that they should not gather great numbers of them. What is the modern equivalent? Cars, designer clothes, luxury homes? People flaunt these things out of deep insecurity. Contrast with Jesus—did He own a horse of His own? Instead, He rode a humble donkey (Matthew 21:5). There are men today who live with this kind of confidence, for example a friend of mine, Mark, who runs an MMA club. He is strong, confident, and drives a tiny red car. Seeing him step out of that car, I realized: here was a man who did not need status symbols to prove his worth.
God warned the king not to take many wives, lest his heart be led astray. This aligns with Jesus’ vision of love: one man, one woman, one lifetime (Matthew 19:4-6). Compare that to modern conversations about “alphas,” “sigmas,” and “betas.” Would Jesus have cared about such labels? Or would He have focused on love, commitment, and mutual respect? The world twists relationships into a power struggle, but Jesus calls us to selfless love.
God instructed that kings should not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold, knowing that wealth can corrupt the heart. Jesus echoed this in Matthew 6:24: “You cannot serve both God and money.” Yet, today’s influencers push a different message—one of self-glorification and financial ambition. Do we chase wealth like the world does, or pursue God’s kingdom first?
God commanded kings to write and read His law daily so they would learn to revere Him. This principle applies to us—what shapes our thoughts and desires? The latest online trends, social media influencers, or the Word of God? If we want our hearts to align with Jesus, we must immerse ourselves in Scripture, not worldly philosophies.
At the core of all these attitudes is a fundamental question: Do we consider ourselves better than others? God warned Israel’s kings not to think too highly of themselves. Jesus, in contrast, washed the feet of His disciples and called us to serve rather than seek to be served (John 13:14-15). The world craves status, power, and hierarchy, placing the strongest at the top. Jesus calls us to humility.
Many of our modern conceptions of traditional masculinity are rooted in Roman ideals of the Pater Familia. The man of the family, who must be careful to protect his Dignitas, by careful control of his emotions and reputation. Consider how shocking the biblical examples of manhood would be in this context.
We can see this clash in David’s lifetime (2 Samuel 6:14-22)
And David danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. So David and all the people of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord with shouts of joy and the blowing of rams’ horns.
But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him.
Showing emotion can be seen as unseemly and contemptable article. Roman men were expected to walk not run, to keep a tight rein on their emotions, refrain from embracing. They were not to be seen as nurturing or vulnerable, but aloof and dignified.
Yet in the scripture we see a very different vision of masculinity. Despite the popular saying “boys don’t cry,” we see Joseph, a picture of forgiveness and reconciliation, weep on several occasions. He cries when he sees his brother Benjamin (Genesis 45:2), is overwhelmed with emotion reuniting with his father (Genesis 46:29), and mourns his father’s death (Genesis 50:1). King David, a warrior known for his courage, wept in various situations. He wept upon learning of Saul and Jonathan’s deaths (2 Samuel 1:12) and for his exiled advisor Abner (2 Samuel 3:32). Even Jesus, the Son of God, shed tears. The Bible describes Jesus weeping out of compassion for his friend Lazarus’ death (John 11:35) and lamenting the fate of Jerusalem (Luke 19:41).
It can be lost on us, when reading the parable of the prodigal son, just how shocking the behaviour of the father is. As an older man, running, weeping and embracing emphasised the power of his forgiveness as well as setting a compelling example of Godly interactions.
After decades of teaching and interacting with young men, my observation is that the most lost young men are often those without emotional closeness to their fathers. I encourage our fathers to follow the example of Christ who said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Luke 13:34)
The apostle Paul famously did not try to put up a brave front and pretend that he had it all together, that he needed no one’s help and had everything under control. I shall just take one powerful example, but I am sure that you could think of many more. (Acts 20:31-38)
Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears…. When Paul had finished speaking, he knelt with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship.
Perhaps the most disturbing trend among young men has been a re-emergence of a terrible misogyny which is indeed very “traditional” but very at odds with the example of Christ. Jesus’ interactions with women throughout the Gospels challenged societal norms. He talked to women theologically (John 4:7-26), included them among his followers (Luke 8:1-3), and uplifted their dignity by healing them and valuing their perspectives (Luke 7:36-50, Mark 14:3-9). In a culture that often-marginalised women, Jesus treated them with respect and compassion. As modern readers, it is easy for us to miss the fact that the spirit chose women to be the first witnesses to the resurrection. At the time, women would not have been considered reliable witnesses. Paul followed this example and at the conclusion of his most famous and influential epistle he addresses nine women, a staggering number for a classical document.
In conclusion, we need to ensure that our young men have access to positive role models of biblical, not worldly masculinity. That they learn to read the Bible to see the practical and relevant examples. That their thinking is shaped by scripture not the many influencers of the internet. That they also have a wide range of real relationships, ideally provided by a church family. Let us pray that they will not be guided by the fear connected with maintaining status but walk in the freedom of men who know God’s unconditional love and so can be outwardly focussed on uplifting others because they know that their own position is secure as children of God.
Rod Air
Teacher
Editorial Team:
Alleyne Jacobs, Christian Berechree, Matthew Pampeyan, Shelley Bennett